Therefore the Kingdom of Heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 When he had begun to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.[c] (Matthew 18:23,24)

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Once we have begun to rule out misunderstandings or mischaracterizations of forgiveness we can begin defining it correctly. Though the Greek word for forgive (APHIEMI – literally, “send away”) is fairly straight forward, being well-understood as “releasing”--we still need to develop a  functional definition that draws out components we tend to neglect.  This is why it is so useful to study Jesus’ parables. Parables are “earthly stories with heavenly meanings.” The earthly story correctly grounds our understanding in a real life situation. 

 

Jesus’ story of forgiveness and release involved a financial debt between a king and his subject. The case was about a man who owed him ten thousand talents. In Jesus’ day, one talent was about 75 pounds of silver. It would take an average worker 20 years to make that much money. Multiply that by one thousand talents to appreciate the extraordinary amount owed by this man to the king. Jesus probably chose to describe forgiveness in this way to illustrate how extraordinarily great and unjust the offense was against the king. There would be an immediate emotional impact of “1000 talents,” much like if we said, “he owed the man a million dollars.” 

 

Obviously, however, a financial debt is only one example where forgiveness may be necessary. All kinds of conflict, misunderstandings, falsehoods and injustices can disrupt our relationships. Some are only perceived but others are very real. Either way, the breach in the relationship is real and needs to be addressed. 

 

If as we learned in the last lesson, forgiveness is not a feeling,  saying magic words, forgetting what happened, or a single attempt to “patch things up”, what does it mean? For the king in Jesus’ story, forgiveness meant releasing the servant from future punishment. The king would have been fully justified to punish the man to the full extent of the law. But he did not. In his mercy the king released him, forgiving the debt he owed and, by implication, deciding he would not hold it against the man in the future. Forgiveness means releasing those who have wronged us from  threats of future revenge. This doesn’t always ignore criminal activity. It doesn’t always mean shielding an offender from the consequences of their actions. However, in the context of forgiveness, it does mean we will not be the ones to exact any just punishment that is required. We will talk about that more in the last lesson. For now, we need to look more closely at the phrase, “future revenge”, particularly how it is often entangled with the sin of bitterness. 

 

Bitterness and Future Revenge

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“Revenge” doesn’t just mean threatening to kill someone.  The two parts of our English word  are “re” and ‘vengeance.” “Vengeance” is punishment. The prefix “re” means to return to it again and again. The great danger of revenge is that the longer we pursue it the more it consumes our lives. It is like a noxious and invasive weed growing in the garden. If it isn’t pulled out by the roots it will choke the life out of the other plants. The Bible calls this ‘bitterness.” 

 

14 Follow after peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no man will see the Lord, 15 looking carefully lest there be any man who falls short of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you and many be defiled by it, (Hebrews 12:14,15)
 

Bitterness is not just a feeling but acts out in all kinds of ways. Like toxic vengeance and harmful invasive weeds in the garden, it only gets worse over time. Here are three biblical examples: 

 

Self-destructive thoughts and feelings -  (Ruth 1:20,21) Ruth’s mother-in-law, Naomi, called herself “Marah” (the Hebrew word for “bitter”) to describe the self-destructive thoughts and attitudes about herself and her circumstances amidst her suffering. Though we try to convince ourselves that an unforgiving, bitter spirit toward another protects us from destruction, it actually does the opposite. 

 

Spiritual-blindness (Acts 8:18-23)  After observing the Apostles Peter and John imparting the Holy Spirit through the laying on of hands, Simon tried to buy this power with money so Peter sharply exposed his bitterness: "I see that you are in the gall of bitterness and in the bond of iniquity." Bitterness causes a spiritual-blindness that robs us of faith, quenches the Holy Spirit’s power and even hinders answers to prayer (see 1 Peter 3:7).

 

Relational “Triangulation” (Hebrews 12:15) The writer of Hebrews exposed the wider destruction of bitterness: “defiling many.” “Relational triangulation” describes the way we try to use the contempt of others to seek revenge on our enemies: gossip, mockery, slander. 

 

Study Guide

 

Parables are “______________________  _________________ with _________________   _____________________.” The __________________   ______________ correctly grounds our understanding in a ___________________  ___________________ situation. 

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In Jesus’ day, ___________ talent was about _______________  ____________  _________of silver. It would take an average worker _______________   _________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ to make that much money.

 

For the king in the parable ____________________  ultimately was about ___________________  _________  ______________________. 

 

Reflection Questions 

 

Read the passages of Scripture for yourself and reflect on ways you have been tempted to bitterness toward others: 

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Self-destructive thoughts and feelings -  (Ruth 1:20,21) 

 

Spiritual-blindness (Acts 8:18-23) 

 

Relational “Triangulation” (Hebrews 12:15)